May 2013
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Isaac: Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his literal one sucked, or because he knew more about how to hold a cigarette than any nonsmoker in history, or because he got eighteen years when he should've gotten more.
Augustus Waters: Seventeen.
Isaac: I'm assuming you've got some time, you interupting bastard.
Isaac: I'm telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness.
Issac: But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.
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Nothing We Do is For You
This is a story that I feel needs to be told. This is a story of mine.
Last Wednesday I was sitting in my math class at school. My cousin who I grew up with and is only two days younger than me sits next to me. As soon as I got to class he starts talking to me about how all of the guys in his guitar class think my older sister is attractive.
Now, many people think that my sister and I look...
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